I don’t know what’s wrong with me lately. I have this constant feeling of not belonging. In a world where judgment and cruelty run rampant, I fear I will never find someone like me. And that’s not to say I’m a saint or anything, because I am most definitely not. It just seems like those around me are drifting away, or maybe I’m drifting away from them. Either way, we’re not meshing very well.
What’s so wrong with being passionate? Is it so horrible to care? Am I really that much of a contradiction that I turn myself into a hypocrite?
Jack and I got into a debate today about how I strongly speak out against the use of derogatory/discriminatory terms (“retarded,” “gay,” among so many others I’d rather not post), yet use “the c word” more often than anyone I know. It doesn’t offend me. I don’t think it should offend you. When I use it, at least, it’s not to put one group of people down, or point out one specific aspect of a group of people; it’s simply to call someone a big-jerk-head-to-the-extreme, more or less.
I feel like it’s along the lines of calling someone a dick. Who would take offense to that? Maybe people who think their penis is a bad thing . . . maybe. In that case, the only people who should take offense to “the c word” should be those who have problems with their vaginas (and by problems I don’t mean actual medical concerns). (Why is “vaginas” never recognized as a word in any spell check I’ve ever used? There can’t be more than one vagina? Plural penises are fine, but only one vagina allowed!)
So, yeah. I don’t get it. Then again, I guess a lot of people don’t “get” why it’s not okay to use the term “retarded” to refer to someone who’s not using common sense. But how hard is that to get? It’s obviously insulting an entire group of people, by implying everyone with special needs is less-than human, which is simply not the case. “The c word” doesn’t do the same thing, in my opinion.
Speaking of “bad words,” my three-year-old is allowed to say them. Oh my god, you’re totally shocked, aren’t you? I must be the most horrible parent ever. But I’m not. I just think that words are wonderful, amazing things, and we should use them appropriately. What’s the harm in a little kid coming home and saying “I had a shitty day”? So long as he doesn’t use bad words to hurt other people (such as telling someone to fuck themselves), he’s allowed to express himself his own way. Why are certain words (that don’t harm an entire group of people) “bad”? Who says so? It doesn’t matter, I don’t care. They’re not bad to me.
It’s not like “shit” is a Sith and “shoot” is a Jedi. The balance isn’t going to shift if we all start saying “fuck” every time we drop something instead of “frick”. Four letter words are not a direct route to the dark side, or even a long, windy, tourist-stop-filled route.
And how ridiculous is it that children hear adults say “bad words” all the time, but are told “You’re not allowed to say this until you’re an adult.” For Christ’s sake, it’s not drinking or driving or voting or joining the military or anything that holds significant value. It’s not going to kill brain cells, or change our country’s outcome, or possible run over an old lady, or get him shot. (I mean, technically anything can get you shot, but you know what I mean). “Adult words” are just as ridiculous as Marriage Equality and Marijuana being illegal.
But don’t even get me started on that.
Because this is a 20-minute free-write and time’s about up. So, disregard this post if you’d like, I’m sure I’ll expand on those ideas later (actually I think a few are already in my “Ideas for Blog Posts” list). But, person out there even just a little like me — come find me, I’ll be waiting. Or, wait until I have enough money to come find you.