I haven’t been having good days. Well, it’s only been like this for a few days — and actually, yesterday was good because I made my kid a house out of a cardboard box, but that meant I was outside all day and couldn’t write. And I don’t remember the day before that because my memory is shit, but I know that I haven’t written in two whole days.
Oh wait, that’s just yesterday and today. Thursday I did TTT. But now it’s 12:57 so it’s technically tomorrow.
Anyway, today I didn’t do much other than lie in bed or on the couch. And the fact that I haven’t written anything in two days is making me want to curl up and hide again, so I figured I’d share some of the random tidbits that I jot down. Thoughts and happenings and words and whatnot.
You know, to hold you over until I’m back on my game.
1. What exactly is “white girl wasted“? Do we get a different kind of drunk than men or women of a different race? Is this referring to the “woo girls” on How I Met Your Mother? Wasn’t one of them black? Or maybe the stereotypes of Latin women fighting? I don’t get it . . . isn’t that kind of racist?
2. While in the car a block away from home, my very sleepy and cranky son starts screaming/whining/crying “No, no, nonono [mumble mumble whine] NO.”
Him: “I just want to say no.”
Me: “You just want to say no?”
Him: “Yes. No say yes, say no.”
At least I can appreciate his honesty — otherwise I probably would have convinced myself a ghost was attacking him or something.
Then once we got home, I immediately put him to bed. He proceeded to tell me, with his eyes closed, that he wasn’t tired, was hungry, and wanted a salad. Then he passed out. The boy’s never had a salad in his entire life.
3. WHATTHEFUCKWORDPRESS. (This is a recurring thought. What the hell have you guys been doing lately?!) (I still love you, please don’t ‘malfunction’ and delete my entire blog before I’m done backing up my posts.)
4. Am I the only one who thinks the name ‘Valeria’ sounds like a venereal disease? Gonorrhea, Valeria, Onomatopoeia. This could be an informative rhyming game for kids . . . in which the words have nothing to do with one another.
5. My dad is so racist. I try to make excuses for him and say, “Oh, he’s just old and a Republican so he doesn’t know any better,” but then he says things like, “Obama only won because he was black. People were excited because he’d be the first black president so they voted for him without finding out what he was all about. It was cool. Like how white women dating black guys is now a cool fad.”
Yeah, Dad. Damn that love fad. I sure hope its moments of glory are over soon so we can all be alone and miserable, like you.
6. I hate it when my kid comes in my room when I’m sleeping and fucks with my pile of mess because now I can’t find the spoon that’s supposed to be next to a bag of clothes that haven’t fit in 5 years and library books that were due back 6 months ago, and on top of the journal from high school on top of an old popcorn tin on top of a bunch of empty water bottles on top of a pillow. But my favorite pen is suddenly in a tangle of random wires after being missing for 3 weeks, so that’s cool.
7. Why do my legs hurt?
8. How is it possible for one family to drink so much water? Jack doesn’t even drink water — he only drinks milk and soda (which is a whole other rant in itself); Holden has been drinking more lately since he seems to adore his new cup, but he still doesn’t like plain water so all of his drinks are at least half-juice. I only drink water, but I don’t drink nearly enough. My dad, however — he drinks water. He’s the water thief of this house, and then when we run out I have to go buy more. Which is like every single fucking day. I just bought TEN GALLONS the last time I went grocery-shopping. I don’t remember when that was, but we haven’t starved to death so it couldn’t have been too long ago.
I just thought of more while doing the dishes but I forgot them while I was typing these.
On another note, contribute to the Confessional, please.
On another other note, how would ya’ll feel about Nonsense & Shenanigans putting out a weekly email newsletter? (Is that what they’re called? My brain seriously isn’t working right now.) Chock full of random thoughts like these and awesome internet finds and my favorite post of the week and maybe something serious, too, that would only be available in the newsletter.
That’s all I have for now.
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Do that thing you do and let me know what you think, how you feel, and if you’re partial to turtles in the comments.