I Think I’m Safe

The other day I posted on my Facebook that I needed coffee. A male friend, who I don’t know very well but used to come to my old parties and is a close friend’s cousin, offered to take me to Starbucks and pay. Seeing as how I had $3 and the car wasn’t available, I had to say yes.

I mentioned this to my friend and she said he was probably “on the prowl”. I glanced at myself in the mirror and told her, I’m wearing a pair of sweatpants with a giant hole in the crotch and haven’t showered or shaved in two weeks. Plus I’m wearing my Fries Before Guys shirt so he’ll know I prefer food over him. I think I’m safe.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.”

Then I thought I probably should change my pants. But then I thought that maybe I shouldn’t, because I didn’t feel like getting hit on.

Well, I should at least change my underwear.

But then he might not realize how gross I am.

I’m one of those girls who usually doesn’t mind getting hit on. I don’t get offended if I wear a low-cut shirt and someone makes a comment about my boobs. Honestly, they kind of make me happy. It’s just a sick, pathetic way of complimenting me, after all.

So I don’t know why on this particular day I felt seriously afraid of it. Not of him, just of any possible advances he might make, and how I would decline them. Maybe I just wasn’t feeling up to it.

The coffee-getting actually went really well. He was nice and polite, picked me up, took my son and me to Starbucks, paid for coffee and some snacks. Then we went to one park but there was some event going on, so we went to another park but it was too hot, so we came back to my house. And we just sat around my patio table and talked and watched the boy play — no awkward advances of any kind. Not even a hug goodbye. Just a good old-fashioned time among friends.

But the whole thing got me thinking about how, and why I had wanted to make myself gross in order to avoid getting hit on.

And I just have one question: Do men ever have to do this? Do you yourself, as a man, ever have to not change into jeans to avoid someone grabbing or commenting on your ass? Do you, as women, know of any man who purposely stays ‘gross’ to avoid catcalls?

If your answer is no, maybe you should reconsider feminism and what it can do for you.

*  *  *  *  *

Men: have you ever experienced this?
Women: do you know a man who has?
Do you think it’s wrong, or just a way of life? Let me know!


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9 thoughts on “I Think I’m Safe

  1. Believe it or not, the one physical item that has gotten more women to hit on me was my wedding band. It was either that or my “I don’t give a fuck about impressing you cause I am married” attitude. Possibly a combination of both. Weird nonetheless.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I asked my husband, who has become a feminist precisely because I have been telling him stories like the one you relate here for 15 years, and he was actually speechless for a few secs. (Also a very rare phenomenon!). His eventual response was no. Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

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