I think I officially have a troll. And I have to admit, it’s kind of exciting.
First, she told me a 15-year-old who was taken advantage of by a swim coach should have more sympathy for the man’s wife and children, instead of having the indecency to be scarred by it herself. She blamed the woman, who anonymously confessed, for telling her own story, and then hoped she would experience the same thing.
Then she stated that the world is horrible and that’s okay. (This is, I may note, the only post on which her comments didn’t regard infidelity.) And accused me of blogging about unimportant issues on my own blog.
On a mental health post, she cried out defaming people diagnosed with Bipolar and went on a rant about her husband’s mistress. And discredited sociopathy as a mental illness by saying it discredits other illnesses. Then had a problem with a mental health foundation helping any and all people with mental health issues. Then assumed I was on her mistress’s side.
Note that so far, only one post had to do with infidelity, and she brought up the mistress in 4 out of 5.
Finally, she got her wish and I posted about my experience as The Other Woman (as a teenager). She first accused me of not meaning anything I wrote. Then she read through the other comments and, when she saw how I was planning to change any future comments of hers, told me she would report me (and mentioned a bit more about how I was despicable).
[There was another post, asking your advice on how to go about writing a letter to my boyfriend’s ex-wife, that I have since deleted. The comments on that were the most outrageous, but are now unavailable. But note that the post made no mention of why I was writing the letter, or what was in it.]
* * * * *
You can all decide. No, she doesn’t comment on every single post. But she does comment on a bunch that have nothing to do with infidelity, and explains all about her mistress person. Every time she comments she disagrees. Disagreement is normal. Telling strangers about your husband’s mistress on unrelated posts is not.
So I’m calling her my first troll.
Sadly, the woman obviously has serious, deep-seated issues she needs to work out. Being cheated on can screw anyone up, but I can’t help but note how she blames only the other woman and not her husband. And then accuses people she doesn’t even know of standing up for the other woman.
There’s something not right there. Her blog is private, so I can’t even begin to get in her head. And I feel bad, I do. But that doesn’t change my comment policy.
* * * * *
First I asked her, politely, to stop bringing up the mistress on unrelated posts. Then I told her I could help her if she was suffering. (She called me patronizing.) Finally I told another blogger how, if this troll kept it up, I would change her comments to “I love kittens” or “Tempest Rose’s third toe on her right foot is more majestic anything I’ve ever seen.” To which she responded that she would report me for falsifying comments and identity theft.
Note that I never said if I would add a changed by blog owner disclaimer.
But, note that my comment policy does state that troll (or hostile or annoying, etc., etc.) comments will not be deleted — they will be changed to something ridiculous or complimentary.
* * * * *
So here is my proof if she comes back or any other trolls pop up. I will change your comments, you can report me all you like (this is also for WordPress), and you will love my third toe.
Happy trolling. And bring it.
* * * * *
**UPDATE: Since writing this (but before publishing) I found out that Nephila is indeed a troll. People have reached out to her, insulted her, and there’s even an urban dictionary entry about her. She seems to comment on every single post she can find about infidelity. I truly do feel sorry for her — she is obviously in an insane amount of pain because of her past and I hope she soon gets the help she needs.
Have you had any trolls? How did you deal with them? Do you have a specific comment policy? Let me know!