You Let Me Down

So you know how a lot of bloggers make posts about the searches that lead people to their blogs? Well I’ve been hoping to do that. Only none of mine are freakin’ exciting.

Instead, I’ve decided to let you all know how upset I am that you’re not searching cool things, and instead search shit like:

nonsenseshenanigans (6) Well, duh. I hope you were looking for me at least.

shenanigans clothing
(2) Sorry you got directed here. I have no clothing. Rarely wear it.

i hit my child
(2) I like to think that my post helped you, but I doubt it.

tempest rose
(2) I want you to be searching for me, but you’re probably searching for her.

how to find a 4 leaf clover
 That post isn’t up yet — stick around. I can tell you how to find 3-leaf clovers.

a midsummer night’s dream moshinsky review That post has been deleted because it was dumb.

youtu.be/8tjxnygp6d8 
Why didn’t you just go to youtube?

hgirl.interrupted common sense media
I don’t even know what that means.

tell me how to be happy
Here you go.

when another cjild fills your childs jead with nonsence
What is a cjild’s jead?

what type of dogs are the little balls of fluff
Pomeranians, usually.

what great event happened on july 12 2000??
I have no idea. Why did you come here?

i maybe nonsense to you im not perfect
May be* I’m*. And I am perfect, I can’t help you.

give me all the benefits of red clover for my eyes Again, I’m sorry. I don’t even know what red clover is.

dove chocolate horoscopes I hope you enjoyed reading about how much Dove hates me.

if i could sleep forever, duhnuhnahnahnah

i just took my tampon out and parts were of it were black That sounds like something you should probably get checked out.

liebster I still don’t understand it, either.

i hate when boys in box you with nonsense about love O.M.G. me too!

married mom and 15 yr old lover continue affair That sucks. My post was nothing like that. (Okay, maybe a little.)

thinking about private Thinking about private WHAT? I’m so intrigued now.

i thought my cervix was a tampon Why were you that far up in your whoo-ha?

how much is the outside playhouses for girls Too much. Way too much. And it’s not just ‘for girls’.

addiction Yep, you’ll get a lot of that here.

is shenanigans a bad word Where the hell did you get that fucking shitty idea?

borderline longreads.com This one makes sense. I think. Welcome!

$3 gas tax satirical site I hope I helped.

leah.4.bitstrips10.com I also don’t know what this means.

little boys reaction to gay marriage Again, why didn’t you go to youtube? (That post was deleted as well.)

why Google, why? (yes, WHY?)

a childs first bully (I doubt you were expecting to hear it actually might be you.)

nephilia infidelity blog comments (Thank you for tipping me off to how crazy she is.)

Then there were 229 unknown search terms. Damn you, Google. Damn you.

As you can see, people search normal things that make perfect sense. Obviously they would get directed here. Why can’t I have fun stuff, like The Bloggess? Start searching for some cool stuff, people!

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What’s the strangest search term that lead someone to your blog? Let me know!


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35 thoughts on “You Let Me Down

  1. Mine are mostly pretty boring and really obvious how they landed on my site, but I do have a couple of fun ones like “y do men pich a tent” and “my hose smell horse” and “what is a gigglesnort?” and, my favorite so far, “why are nerds pansies.”

    I think your list was pretty fun! :)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Here by way of Kitt O’Malley.

    What’s the strangest search term that lead someone to your blog?

    If you thought your results were lame, trust me, mine are 10X lamer.
    I have next to zilch. There are the terms I searched for to try to find my own content. A few Minecraft-related terms, because of some of my daughter’s art. A few health care terms because of my ill health posts. But that’s it. Sorry to disappoint.

    Liked by 1 person

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