I Guess I’m Not a Woman

I recently read this post from Paul Thomas Bell. Now, I follow him and appreciate his blog so this is all in good fun, but I just couldn’t miss an opportunity like this to shatter the female stereotype.

Paul has deduced that he knows the answer all men seek — What Women Want. Therefore I must not be a woman because, while the first phrase of some of the things on his list may apply to me, the descriptions sure as hell don’t.

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Babies. You’re right, I do want babies. However, I don’t want any more until I’m much older and much more stable. One surprise was enough, thank you. So no, I will not be forcing anyone to put a baby in me before they’re ready. I know what it’s like to not be ready.

I also don’t want babies nearly as much as my boyfriend does, and I’ve come across more women who want nothing to do with slobber and poop and “why?” and almost setting the house on fire every second of their lives than I’ve met women who want that stuff. Rock on, non-baby-makers.

Paul’s MoneyI’m going to assume this just means my significant other’s money. Although, I wouldn’t mind Paul’s, because if I’m being totally honest I want everyone’s money. (But I’d give back to the community and make sure you were comfortable, don’t worry.) However, I don’t expect my partner’s money. On the contrary, I’ve more often than not been the one to support them when they’re unemployed.

That being said, if I support you and then things switch — I’m unemployed and you’re making money — I do expect the same to be done for me as was done for you. I’m a firm believer in “our money” when relationships get serious, and it hasn’t failed me yet.

For Paul’s Friends To Disappear. I don’t know Paul’s friends so I don’t know if they’re scumbags, but again I’m assuming he means my significant other’s friends. And in my personal experience, my boyfriend’s friends are usually my friends — I tend to stay within the same circle. When I did date outside the circle, I embraced my partner’s friends as my own. If they’re assholes, then of course I want nothing to do with them, but I 100% believe each person in a relationship should have their own time and be able to hang out with whomever they please. Exes included. So no, I don’t want your friends to disappear — maybe just stay away from me.

Stop Looking At Other Women. In my case this couldn’t be more wrong. I point out girls. I check them out with my partner. I approach them. Women are hot. People are hot. But I do want attention on me sometimes, too. So I don’t want you to stop checking out other women — so long as you check me out on occasion as well.

As for the reasoning in Paul’s argument, no, I don’t think when your eyes are open you’re eyeing up other girls. I think it’s pretty damn easy to tell when someone’s checking someone else out.

For Us To Love You — No Matter What. Yes, exactly. I do expect you to love me and all of my flaws, because they’re what make me me. The only time I don’t expect you to love me is if you fall out of love with me, because that can’t be helped and love can’t be forced. But if you claim to love me, then love me. It’s as easy as that.

The problem here is that Paul’s description does not match his headline. He says that women want to be loves, but explains that women want to get away with nasty things in the name of love. That’s completely different. No, I don’t expect you to be perfectly fine if I sleep with your brother. I expect you to freak out and probably leave me, but I don’t expect you to stop loving me immediately. Get it?

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So you see, I don’t fit in with any of these stereotypes. And quite honestly, I’m sick of them existing. I’m sick of men assuming them, I’m sick of other women perpetuating them, I’m just absolutely fed up with them. Because, not only do they in and of themselves make me mad, but the fact that I don’t fit in to them makes me feel like I don’t belong. I don’t belong in the female category because I don’t act like a stereotypical woman. But I don’t belong in the male category because I have a vagina and love it. This is why I’m started referring to myself as Androgynous.

Because I don’t fit in. Stop making me feel like I don’t fit in, and maybe just give me a chance without forcing all of the stereotypes on me.

*  *  *  *  *

I would also like to say to Paul — you should really get out there more and find some women like me. You’d be much happier. Help shut down the stereotype!

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This post is first in a three-part response to What Women Want (In My Experience). Stay tuned for part two — What Stereotypical Men Stereotypically Want, and part three — What Women Who Aren’t Really Women Want.

What about you? What do you really want? Do you fit the female stereotype or crush it? Let me know!

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20 thoughts on “I Guess I’m Not a Woman

    • Well really, I identify as androgynous so I guess I’m not a “real” woman. Haha.

      Also, stay tuned for an upcoming “Why ‘Go Make Me A Sandwich’ Is Disrespectful and Sexist” post. (Because many of my friends seriously don’t think it is.)


  1. Hear hear! I especially enjoyed what you said about love. There are times when we don’t like the ones we love, when we can’t stand them, when we have to leave even but leaving someone I love is really different from finding that I’ve fallen out of love with someone.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Eh, for people like me certain labels (androgynous, bipolar, etc.) actually help. They make me feel less alone and have a better understanding of myself. Before I was given (or gave myself) these labels, I felt an extreme sense that something was wrong with everyone in the entire world because I couldn’t relate to the average person. Now that I know I am “classified” as certain things, it makes life in general easier to cope with and/or embrace.

      However, I absolutely say to hell with stereotypes.


  2. I didn’t click on his link because, based on your responses, I’m guessing his sterotypically sexist nonsense is just going to tick me off. Babies and money? Really? Ugh.

    Anyway, you belong, sweetpea! You belong to the “real” women club…don’t let some jerk weasel who has no concept of what it is to be a woman make you feel like you’re not part of the club. Every woman, no matter how close or far from Paul’s delusional picture of the gender, is a real woman. You rock that vagina! :D

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well he did say he meant it in a funny way and it was purely based off his own experiences. So obviously he’s dating the stereotypical woman that gives all the others a bad name. I do still follow him and enjoy many of his other posts. BUT people see stuff like that and assume that’s what ALL women are like, so I couldn’t stay quiet.

      And actually, I haven’t felt like I belong for a long, long time. I’ve labeled myself as androgynous because I simply don’t feel like I’m “all woman,” which I’m actually very happy with and proud of. But I still use my vagina-status to help fight stereotypes=]

      (Also, totally nothing against you — you know I heart you — but I feel inclined to point out that you don’t need a vagina to be a woman. You just have to feel it in your heart.)


  3. Ugh. I can’t stand it when people start spouting about what women are like. These stereotypes are so wrong, and so awful.

    Women (and men) comes in all variations, and the sooner everyone (especially some men ;) ) can realise it, the better!

    Personally, I don’t think I fit into any of those. I think he needs to stop watching movies and TV-shows (where you do see a lot of this stereotype) and look to the real world where us real women live! ;)

    Liked by 1 person

    • To be fair, he did say not ALL women are like this and the post was based on his limited personal experiences. But, some young guy will see that list and it will further engrave the stereotype into his mind so I couldn’t stay quiet.

      And absolutely! My son likes pink and dolls; I don’t wear dresses or makeup. This makes neither of us less of a man (or boy) or woman, it just makes us human.

      Thank you for your comment=]


      • Looking back at myself when I was a little girl, I wanted nothing more than to be a boy. I played with the boys, hated dresses, and never touched a doll. A generalization would have indicated gender concerns. Turns out, I just liked boy stuff. Still do. I fish, camp, tramp in nature, love outdoor work. I also love cooking, writing, gardening. Would be impossible to group any of those under either category. I am a heterosexual, long-married, and have no concerns about anyone else’s sexuality, having never been forced into a relationship with anyone.

        Liked by 2 people

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