Trolls and I Have an Awesome Relationship

They take out their frustrations on me, and I get new writing material. YAY.

So, the usual Nephila has spammed me three times since my last post calling her out. I have taken to editing the comments to better please me, but saving them on my computer for times like this.

I was also graced with another spam comment from this lovely person — I responded slyly at first and then just had to say how hilarious the comment was. But I didn’t actually take the time to give a decent response to either, because that’s what they want, right?

Well, that’s what they’re going to get. The comments were just too good to not respond to in some way.

Plus, new writing material (and getting to call someone out on their shit) always equals YAY.

(This post may get a little lengthy. I implore you to at the very least skim through to the quoted sections to read said spam comments.)

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My most recent post was a simple questionnaire with my answers. Hard to spam that, right? Oh, how wrong you are. Nephila, my darling Nephila, has found a way:

“Dishonesty? For reals? And you most value honesty despite being the OW? But destroying another person who didn’t deserve it isn’t your lowest depth of misery or even a regret? Got it. Nice.”

She is referring to “the trait I most deplore” in a person being dishonesty; the “quality I like most” in people being honesty; my biggest regret being none; and “what I regard as the lowest depth of misery” being supreme intelligence or loneliness.

I want to preface this by saying I really, truly hope you get the help you need sometime soon. You are obviously still hurting so much you feel the need to project on people you don’t even know, trying to make your pain theirs. You won’t find that here, though, but I can recommend a few good therapists.

I also need to point out that it’s incredibly difficult for me to take anyone who says “for reals” seriously.

That being said, yes, I value honesty above all else. I never claimed I wasn’t a hypocrite — actually quite the contrary. I know I am. However, I’m not even being hypocritical about this.

I deplore dishonesty and value honesty now — now that I have not been the other woman for six years. And, honestly (hehe, see what I did there?) it probably does have a lot to do with how much I lied back then. I don’t like the pain I caused others, so now it pisses me off when other people do the same. That makes sense, and at least I can admit it.

And I didn’t destroy another person, and you have no idea if she “deserved it” or not. But I will give you that one — she did not. Not then, anyway. To you, sleeping with another man’s wife may be the worst thing one could ever do. To me, abandoning your kids is. We both have different stories and have seen different things. Learn to live with that.

Here’s an important one. No, I do not regret sleeping with my now-fiance back when he was married. (Ooh is that why you hate me so much? Because I got him in the end? Does that scare you?) Anyway, I’ve told you this before but I don’t regret anything. Not one damn thing in my whole fucked up life do I wish I could take back, because then I wouldn’t be where I am not, nor would she be where she is now (she’s doing great, by the way), nor would by amazing, perfect son be alive.

I don’t regret sticking needles in my arm or sucking dick for money or sleeping with another woman’s husband. I don’t regret dropping out of high school, I don’t regret the baby I aborted, I don’t regret having unprotected sex, I don’t regret a single thing. Because then, none of the people in my life would be where we are today.

And no, my lowest point was not being a young, dumb, impressionable, madly in love, horrible, pathetic teenager and not knowing right from wrong or not caring. No, that doesn’t even come close. Because, you see, I didn’t ruin anyone’s life by doing that. Not even close.

My lowest point was begging my drug dealer to fuck me for a few extra bags while my baby slept in the back seat. My lowest point was overdosing while my son was eating his dinner. My lowest point was sending my baby into the other room so I could get high. My lowest point was stealing my son’s cheeseburger while we waited in Burger King for my dealer.

My lowest point was putting MY SON in danger or jeopardy, ever.

I would also like to point out that the questionnaire asked “What do you regard as THE lowest depth of misery?” As in, for humanity in general, not for me personally or based on my past.

So belittle me again. You got nothin’ on me.

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Next is this wonderfully delightful person (who I can only assume is a troll judging by their name and the lack of material on their blog) who left this comment on my Are You ‘Bangable’ Enough To Be Raped? post:

“Your musing are the preposterous ramblings of a sycophant trying to earn brownosing points. You don’t even know the full story, the lowdown, or the skinny, yet you’re mad about a rape comment arguing that porn is the lessor of two evils, as an outlet for sexual frustration over rape? Did you even bother to think, prior to posting this brainwashed nonsense, written to give some exploitative female a blank check? I take it you’re for the same punishment of false reporters right? Or, is that kind of equality misogynist?

Feminism doesn’t equal equality, it equals sexploitation, based on female entitlement complex. One sub group, might not speak for the whole group, but that’s irrelevant when they’re generally apart of the same spectrum. Just another squirrel looking for the same exploitative nut. You keep deflecting to bestials, while hollering no true feminist, cause no animal lover was ever a bestial.

“The word “bangable” should never be used when responding to something regarding rape.” — He never encouraged banging any of them. You are a narcissist aren’t you? “He needs feminism — to teach him that his comment was not okay.” So, he needs vague ideology that doesn’t work out in practice, and girls all over the world need a worthless nonsense that often leads to false allegations, because of your delusions of superwoman, from cosmic short end of the stick complex? No, what you need is reality, because you’re a Jack Donkey, and you’re proud of it.”

Ramblings, yes. Preposterous, maybe. Sycophant? Brown-nosing? Who exactly am I trying to impress here? I literally cannot tell you one prominent name in feminism — I simply know how I feel about it. So no, I’m sorry to inform you that I’m not looking for extra special points by writing this post. You obviously don’t know me at all if that’s what you thing. I encourage you to look around some more.

The full story, lowdown, and skinny are all the same thing. I adore your use of big words in the first sentence — it’s adorable that you’re trying to look smart and all — but this just doesn’t make any sense. You’re just looking to pump up your comment. It’s not working.

This is my favorite part, as you all will see once I get further down the comment. Did I bother to think? Hmm . . . did you bother to read?

Anyway, let’s get to the good stuff. No, I am not for the same punishment for false reporters and rapists. Who in their right mind would be?

And this is not false reporting in the slightest. I quoted exactly what the person said, linked to the exact video he responded to, and gave my thoughts on the matter. What’s false there? Oh, yeah, your argument. Sorry.

Feminism absolutely, 100% equals equality. This is the umpteenth time I’ve had to do this, but let me Google that for you.

Feminism: the advocacy of women’s rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men.

I’m sorry, what’s that word? E-qual-it-y? Have you ever heard of such nonsense before? OH! It means equal? Well then, that makes sense.

Feminism is equality. Plain and simple. Extreme types of feminism put women before men. Extreme anything is usually bad. Regular, plain-old feminism is simply about equality. That’s all there is to it.

The bestiality thing was purely an example meant to catch your attention. If you didn’t understand that, well then, I don’t think I can help you. (And yes, many animal lovers do engage in bestiality. You shouldn’t speak in absolutes if you don’t know them to be true.)

I don’t even know what you’re talking about in the last part. The word bangable should never be used when referring to rape. Ever. It doesn’t matter the context. It doesn’t matter if he was advocating rape or abhorring it. YOU CAN NOT USE THE WORD BANGABLE WHEN REFERRING TO RAPE. Jeez, this stuff is so simple.

And if feminism doesn’t work, how is it that we’re able to vote? Riddle me that.

But I am a narcissist. You got me there.

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Now we’re back to my darling Nephila. She took some time out of her obviously busy schedule of trolling other people to leave a brief comment on my post I Can’t Relate:


Yes, indeed. Because I so adamently and purposely belittle your struggles, it’s quite alright to do the same to mine.

Although, I can be damn funny.

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And the last one is from, you guessed it, my darling Nephila. Seriously, girl, what do you do all day?

This one was on a post titled What’s Wrong With Kids Today all about how parents aren’t raising their children right:

“Some of those kids will grow up to be the type who has affairs and breaks up the home of innocent children, brings kids into the world to keep the worthless cheat, or even end up in prison. And they won’t feel any remorse or guilt, only write it off as youthful exuberance. If you think you can write off behaviour that causes *actual* harm as just being young, but not near misses from those even younger…well it’s Pot, meet Kettle. Bad behaviour and selfishness and causing harm to others doesn’t only apply to others.”

Let me just say this right now: if you are in any way implying that I got pregnant on purpose to keep Nate from leaving me, you are beyond sadly mistaken. I didn’t want to get pregnant. I didn’t want to keep the baby. But I did, and now I’m happier than I could ever imagine. If you even partially think that I purposely got knocked up to keep a man who was married, you haven’t even begun to read my story otherwise you would know none of that can even possibly be true. So, bring my kid into this one more time and things will get ugly.

If that’s not what you implied, I apologize.

Also, I didn’t break up anyone’s home. Please learn to read and get your facts straight.

But yes, I assume, very sadly, that some of those kids will grow up to lie, cheat, steal, break, etc. Because, well, that’s common today. And why is that common?

Because of the parents. Which is what my whole post was about in the first place, if you had read it. I’m not blaming the kids for being horrible kids — I’m blaming the parents for raising kids who don’t know the difference between right and wrong.

Also, I’ve already told you this tenthousand fucking times, but I do feel remorse. I apologized profusely and GUESS WHAT? She accepted! We have a phone date soon so we can work on rebuilding our relationship so our children can grow up with their siblings.

She’s a much bigger person than you.

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So I guess the point of this post is that yes, I am feeding the trolls. But I’m pretty sure I’m feeding them poison, if that counts.

hanging trolls kill the trolls dead troll
via dotpolka / Flickr (CC BY-NC-ND 2.0) — via Glenn Harper / Flickr (CC BY-NC-SA 2.0)

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Do you have trolls? Do you feed them? Let me know!


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15 thoughts on “Trolls and I Have an Awesome Relationship

  1. Love the troll photos, I really do.

    But on a more serious note, the internet has become the easiest way for these pathetic souls to act out their anger, boredom and depression in such a cowardly manner on bloggers who don’t deserve such crazyass comments.

    I can’t even get into reading the trolls’ messages for any length of time because they are coming from a mentally ill (yep, it takes one to know one!) & disturbing place.

    I know aside from mental illness, they probably lack in support systems, and they’ve been abused, traumatized, etc. It’s sad. However, those terrible situations don’t give them the right to take out their sicko behavior on you.

    XO peace

    Liked by 1 person

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