(Throwback Thursday — Originally published May 2013)
(Alex is sitting in front of her mirror, doing her makeup and getting ready for her first call of the day. Gabriel walks in, half-naked, expecting sex.)
Alex: You just don’t get it, do you? You only want to fuck me now because when I come home you won’t want to touch me. You hate me for what I do, but you don’t try to stop me. You need this. You need me to put my pussy on display (throws both feet up on the dresser, spreading her legs) and cover myself in makeup and tight dresses—you need me to become fake, so you can escape.
(Alex continues to apply way too much “party punch” lipstick. Gabriel sighs and walks over to the end table next to their bed. He pulls out a picture frame and 4 bags, emptying them and snorting them in almost the same effortless motion. Alex peers over at him.)
Alex: Good for you. Get high. For Christ’s sake, you don’t even do it right. You’re too much of a pussy to handle a fucking needle. But go ahead, snort the drugs my vagina bought. And then look at me like I’m trash. You say you love me, that it’s us against the world. No, you’re just along for the ride. Xander and I ruined you, can’t you see that? This isn’t the life for you. We can handle this, we were born for this. Hell, we were born into this. You were born to a perfect fireman who, yeah, maybe sometimes hit you, and a mom who may be overbearing, but fuck man, look around you. This isn’t you.
(Just then they hear a gunshot through their open window, followed by sirens. A gust of wind blows Alex’s bleach blonde hair into her face and it sticks to her lipstick and foundation. She screams, then goes to her end table and pulls out her needle, spoon, water, cotton, and bags. It takes her much longer to complete her process than Gabriel, but once she finds a vein and plunges the brown liquid into her body, she relaxes. She sighs and falls onto the bed. Gabriel comes over and lowers his body on to hers.)
Alex: I love you so much, can’t you see that? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean any of that stuff. I know you’d change things if you could. (she grabs on to his beard and pulls his face down to kiss her.) And I really don’t hate doing this. I don’t cry afterwards, I don’t hate myself, I don’t even think twice about it. That shit you see in the movies, where a girl is never the same after her first time, that’s bullshit. I’m fine. Why not be paid for something I’m good at? You’re amazing, and I love sharing this with you.
(Alex takes Gabriel’s pants off and slides her dress up. They have rough, passionate sex to the sounds of gangs fighting, women screaming at their boyfriends, husbands, or children, and the occasional bird chirping. When they have finished, they sit looking out the window.)
Alex: You see, baby? (pointing to a “street-walker”) At least I have more class than that. I’m no hooker, that’s for sure. Escorts are classy, we have standards. You know I won’t let an Asian touch me, or anyone go near my ass. I really do enjoy it sometimes. These men have all this money and show me off. Sometimes I don’t even have to get naked, they just want me as their arm candy. This is alright. We’ll be alright. Hell, we can even start our own business. We’ll be pimps! How about that? I think I’d be one hell of a pimp. I could rough the Johns up a bit. They won’t expect it from little ol’ me. We’ll feel good forever.
(Alex’s phone rings. She answers and speaks in a low, sultry voice to the person on the other end for about a minute and hangs up. She starts running around the room grabbing her belongings and cleaning herself up, reapplying some makeup.)
Alex: Fuck. We have to go. He’ll be there in a few minutes. Can you do me a favor and call Country while I’m in there and make sure he’s ready for us? I’ll get at least $400 from this guy, he always tips well. Then we’ll get really high and do something nice tonight. It’ll be great. Get dressed, I’ll be down in the car. I love you.
(She kisses Gabriel and walks out. He looks around the room, at the dirty laundry all over the floor and the overflowing ashtrays and the empty bags. At Alex’s outfits, all tighter and smaller than the one before. Lights fade.
Alex and Gabriel walk back into the room. They throw their belongings on the bed, and start their routines. Gabriel gets out his picture frame, Alex her kit. They get high, and Alex looks up to turn the TV on. She notices the mirror behind it is covered, in various pieces of paper, clothing, and trash bags. She looks over at Gabriel, kisses him softly, picks up her phone, and dials three numbers.)
Alex: Yes, I’d like the number to the closest rehab, please.