Confession: It’s Easier This Way

I am diagnosed bipolar, like Tempest. I hide it, most days well, some days not. It showed when I was 13, and I was sent to an institution. It was a hard thing to live down, but I moved a lot later and new people I met didn’t know. The people closest to me do know, I am medicated, but I hide it still. I’m afraid of what people will think of me when they find out I have a mental illness. Sometimes I’ve told people about it and they don’t look at me the same way. I’m fine most of the time, unless I come under stress, which I try to avoid. You’d like me, I’m a nice person, but if I told you I was bipolar I worry you might look down on me.  I’m not ashamed. It’s just easier this way.

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6 thoughts on “Confession: It’s Easier This Way

  1. The fact that I KNOW my wife is bi-polar, I have so much more understanding & respect for her. Mainly because I know now how difficult it is for her to simply live her life.

    It is your decision to choose to let people in or not, but I think you may be surprised how supportive your friends can be if you let them in.

    Take care!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Shortly after I went into treatment for depression and got it stabilized, the city council was debating mandatory inclusion of mental health care in their employee benefits package, so medical professionals who were also personal friends and knew my situation asked me if I could speak to the council about the importance to me personally of having my care covered by y employer’s health care plan.

    Surprisingly, I found that speaking out publicly gave me more courage than I ever imagined it would, both for speaking about my own condition and for speaking up for myself in other arenas as well. It was the best risk I ever took up to then, and the payoff continues today as I face other private tests of courage and see even higher rewards.

    It really was the beginning of a long string of surprising successes.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Why were you sent to an institution? I feel like bipolar disorder is manageable outside of one. Sometimes I feel like when they institutionalize people who don’t necessarily HAVE to have it, it brings down their self esteem and self worth. I have one degree in psychology and I’m pursuing another and I haven’t heard very many circumstances where that has happened. Do you feel it was necessary or helpful at all?

    Like

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