I haven’t had much to say lately. I always said I didn’t want to have one of those blogs in which I randomly write about my day, but alas, I have nothing else to say so that’s what you’re getting today. Plus I got a super cool new pen you have to see.

Anyway, many of you may know that I had an interview today. Now don’t get too excited — it wasn’t a fancy job kind of interview; my therapist and I decided it would be best for me to (re)start out at a part-time minimum wage kind of job so I applied at BAM! (BooksAMillion, which is a chain book store that pretty much took over Borders for those of you who don’t know). But it’s something.

I got there half an hour early. Good start. Smoked a cigarette, listened to music, went inside and informed the manager I was there and then browsed for a bit. Picked up 5 books I wanted to buy and then remembered I only had $40 and books are crazy expensive so I put 4 back. Asked them to find me another book, got called for the interview. Fun.

We sat in the front window. I felt like I was on display. Which, come to think of it, I wouldn’t mind. I once worked as a display, kind of — I was a mermaid on the boardwalk who literally sat on a swing dressed up for hours. I didn’t even swing on the swing, I just sat there. Sometimes people came up and took pictures and sometimes I talked to them and sometimes I got hit on, but I was 16 and sitting while simultaneously holding myself up for that long was a pain in the ass so I stopped showing up after I got my first paycheck. It was enough to buy some coke and that was all I wanted, anyway.

So yeah, the interview today. We sat in the front window and it was uncomfortable but I crossed my legs just right and felt proper enough. I was wearing one of my few good shirts, after all. So the interview commenced and I felt like I was interviewing them. The manager told me this and that and this is what we do and this is how much money you can make and we also do this and we want you to succeed! There were exactly three questions for me:

Have you ever worked in retail before?

Yes, I worked in a candle store and had to greet the customers as soon as they came in and then walk them around the shop explaining how each and every different candle worked and try to convince them to buy as many as possible. Then I worked in a little art and upholstery shop and was left there alone to try to sell our knickknacks.

(I didn’t mention that the candleshop was my first job when I was 14 and the artsy store was owned by my friend and pretty much dead all the time.)

Do you think you can sell a membership?

Yes. I mean . . . yes, I like to think I could. I sure as hell will try.

I’m sure you’ve had your fair share of . . . difficult customers as a waitress (I mentioned I’ve mostly worked in the restaurant industry), how do you handle them?

I try to work out whatever problem arises calmly and politely, and if that doesn’t work I get a manager.

(I didn’t mention the time an unruly, drunk customer picked a fight with me at 2am after I had worked my second double in a row and I screamed at him so loudly you could hear it from outside.)

And that was that. She told me more about the company — stuff I couldn’t remember two seconds after she told me let alone now — about affiliates and what they do and what they’re about and I seriously felt like I was interviewing her as to if I liked the job enough. It’s a job, I wanted to tell her, I want it.

She also said they were interviewing about 10 – 15 other people this week and that I might even get called back for a second interview but I would be getting one out of three calls by the end of the week.

  1. I’m hired.
  2. I’m not hired but they appreciate my time and will hold on to my application for 90 days (which she assured me they actually do).
  3. I need to come in for above mentioned possible second interview.

The whole thing seemed slightly unworthy of driving all the way out there, but I did buy two books and this simply amazing squirrel pen:


20 thoughts on “Squirrelly

  1. Interviews can be awful. I find that watching their body language and mimicking it can work. Hey, you got some Coke. Nice Squirrel pen. A blogger I follow says that the word Squirrel has a different meaning in the urban dictionary. Ive not read it, but I take her word for it. Great post.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. First thing: That squirrel pen is all sorts of awesome!!

    Second thing: Being a former manager (I have literally hired dozens over the years) I can give you a serious piece of advice. Always treat an interview as if you are interviewing the company to see if working there is worth your time. It sets you up with the right attitude which will be evident with your confidence.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Love your blog … you are so … normal … :) … good luck with the interview, eh? … reminds me of my last job interview … had a nosebleed … got the job anyway … :) … Always, cat.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Good luck! Your bookstore interview sounds a lot easier than mine was. I had to sell them books and everything in the interview, which was interesting but also rather frightening! Unfortunately I didn’t get it (no idea how many I was up against) but I hope you do. It’ll be good for you :)

    Liked by 1 person

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