Gettin’ Crazier

You have all seriously come through since my first search terms post. Seriously. I don’t even know what else to say. So just, check them out:

inspector search

секс This is another language, right? And like, a different alphabet? Because that’s not how the usual font looks. I have no idea what to make of this.

naked bath time boys (2) Um, this is not a good way to start things. Please don’t come here again.

why do i seek attention from man after ive been raped (2) This is probably something you should work through in therapy.

sucking boy (2) What the hell is going on here?! Why are these people getting directed to my blog?

why alcoholics drink from guilt Because it’s a vicious cycle. 

nonsense word lists Falafel, Sassafras, Shishkabob, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

gender identity nonsense It’s not nonsense, whatsoever.

nonsense shenanigans Could this really be for me?! I’m so flattered.

onewhomakesupnonsenseexcuses Jack had a field day with this one.

making nonsense in someones life And this one.

affair coach’s wife Well, the post you probably were referred to is this one, but I don’t think I can help you.

is there such thibg as fwb Okay, I had to look up “fwb” because somehow search engines know what it means but I don’t, but yes, there is.

help needed I am so sorry. But you might want to narrow your search a bit.

confess my unfair sleepwalking Oh, how I wish this was searched by a specific someone.

i like pumken Um, you like what? Because I like pumpkin.

alcoholics Are not cool.

kids today 2014 This is what’s wrong with them.

why is pumpkin basic It’s not!

private parts children Seriously, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you weren’t searching for child porn and wanted something like this instead, but I really don’t like the pattern of these search terms.

nipple challenge YES! Someone finally understands.

awesome alone posts I don’t even know what to say to this one. I have awesome alone posts?

i hit my son That’s okay.

mycervix Is a doughnut?

silly bucket list Here you go.

sex stories with gardener Again, I really want you to be searching for this guest post from this wonderful man, but I doubt it.

had a string come off tampon should i notify company Um, sure?

confession Submit yours.

relationships no strings attached told friends about me So?

no strings attached relationships Are possible.

shenanigans clothing For the third time, I’m sorry. I have nothing to do with clothing.

real girls Are any girls.

how can i stop my vargina from making nonsense noise This one is absolutely my favorite and I have no idea how you ended up here. But, maybe your vargina is supposed to be making those noises? Then again, I don’t know what a vargina is. (Although spell check doesn’t say it’s incorrect.)

i want to feel better So do I. I hope you find out how to.

how to be a cool alcoholics THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A COOL ALCOHOLIC.

“shitting on yourself” Oh dear. For a second I completely forgot that I had a post titled something like that. I can only imagine what’s going on in your life, but I’m sorry I probably can’t help you. And why the quotes? This isn’t another sexual thing, is it?

antiparenting blog Oh god is that what I’ve become? Actually, I’d be okay with that. But I can’t take all the credit — my post was completely and totally inspired by The Mighty Buick.

not real girl on back without shirt What? Is this another porn search? WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE COMING HERE?

annesley rozairo I don’t know who this is and I’m feeling too lazy to use the Google.

sam dylan finch, an activist with bipolar disorder I have never once written about this person (I don’t think), but yay!

eeyore should have been on zoloft Well, personally I doubt Zoloft would have worked for him but yes, he was absolutely depressed or something. Hence my Eeyore Syndrome.

sex blog Oh my god, I am not a sex blog! (Not that there’s anything wrong with them, I actually quite enjoy them.) But I do have a guest post about sex blogging.

is santa claus real or fake the truth Oh crap I totally just ruined it for someone. Shit. But really who Googles that?!

the world change and so the women no longer care about private parts Um.. huh?

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