I am happy today. I’m listening to The Rocket Summer and The Audition and all the stuff I used to listen to back when my friends were my world and we were always happy, in that magical time between innocence and hell, when we ran the world and were just bad enough.
And I feel like I’m back in those times and things are wonderful again. I think of Luke and Jack, before Jack was Jack, and I’m thinking about the world and how amazing it can be.
I’m thinking happy thoughts and I’m flying.
Because there was a time when everything was perfect, and I realize how insanely lucky I am to have experienced it at all. When the weight of the world wasn’t on my shoulders, when my days consisted of day drinking and going on rides and blasting music with the windows rolled down.
When the weather was nice and the people were gorgeous. Before the drugs took hold and made everything cold and ugly. Before there were all these responsibilities and we got boring. Before all of this, there was us, and we will forever live on.
I’m bopping around on my bed and am procrastinating getting ready for a big weekend up in PA, where I have dates with three of my favorite people.
I tell you this because an upcoming post of mine may be a bit dark, but today I am happy. I’m thinking about romping around town and dancing, even though I don’t dance, and my happiest moments and instead of comparing today to them, I’m bringing myself back to them.
Things are good. I can get back to that place if I try.