Overcoming the Clouds is Different for Everyone

I feel the need to put two things out into the world right now:

1. There are different types of depression.

2. It’s not always that easy.

There have been a lot of posts lately about clouds. Most of us use clouds to symbolize depression, or the onset of depression, or a depressed period, or, you get the point. With winter coming / here, many of us with depression, bipolar, seasonal affective disorder, etc. have been struggling.

And in response to these clouds posts, there have been a lot of posts trying to help us find the light. And I thank you for what you’re doing, and I appreciate your advice and your words and your encouragement, but it’s not always that easy, and there are different types of depression.

I feel the need to remind everyone that no two people are the same. We all handle things differently. So, while you may have a reason to be depressed, I don’t. It just hits me. There’s nothing I can do. Maybe you’re dealing with a lot right now and it’s all too much and you can’t help but retreat. On the other hand, my life is going rather smoothly and suddenly I can’t get out of bed. Neither of us are worse off than the other, and we’re both going through legitimate depression. But maybe, just maybe you can do some of that self-help stuff to work you through it. I can’t.

There’s always something you can do. For me, it was seeing a doctor and getting on meds. But, it’s not always that easy. It took me months, months to work up the courage and energy just to pick up the damn phone. From there, it took me more months to get an appointment for therapy. From there, it took me more months to get an appointment to see a psychiatrist, and from there, I had to wait more months for my meds to kick in. My worst clouds hit last winter, and I’m just now starting to see the light.

This wasn’t a matter of forcing myself outside — I physically could not get out of bed.

This wasn’t a matter of looking for the good in my life — I had plenty and knew it.

This was simply a case of an imbalance in my brain. Only therapy and meds could help me, which they are, now. But in a sense you’re right — I did have to force myself to do something. It’s just not as easy as doing anything.

Some people can’t see the good in their lives, either because it’s already there and not helping, or it’s not there at all, or they just can’t see it. Some people can’t force themselves out of bed. Some people can’t afford a fancy new sunlamp. Some people aren’t all people.

Some people can focus on the good, and turn things around. Some people can get their endorphins going with exercise. Some people can afford the best gadgets. Some people aren’t all people.

So, to those experiencing the clouds, I feel for you. I can’t begin to say I know what you’re going through because in reality, I don’t. My depression, or bipolar, or whatever, is not the same as yours. But I am struggling right beside you, and I am here to help you through those dark days. And I encourage you to do whatever helps you, even if it’s letting the clouds take over for a while.

And to those who want to help us see the light, I thank you. I do. But I also remind you that our depression is not yours, and sometimes it’s not that easy. And I encourage you to keep reaching out, with that reminder.

*  *  *  *  *

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29 thoughts on “Overcoming the Clouds is Different for Everyone

  1. Depression is such a personal illness, only the one going through it knows just how heavy that dog is between your shoulderblades. Whenever someone tells me they suffer from it I sympathize and empathize and listen, there’s not really a lot more that you can do than let them know you’re there for them.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. What you have narrated is very true. It is personal, and does not required a cause or trigger. Even the response to anti-depression and therapy is different. Not every psychiatrist or counsellor click well with clients. You develop your own insight in your own self.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Thanks for the response T :)

    I’m sure when I was in the middle of my depression if someone told me it can get better, I wouldn’t have believed them. I wasn’t really talking to anyone at that point and wasn’t online so help took a long time for me too. I ended up having psych assessments, phone therapy, doctors appointments etc all months apart like you. There’s definitely no quick fix, its a process.

    I didn’t have a reason for mine starting either, it happened of its own accord. I can remember my first cut but I cant remember a day when the depression started, actually it’s hard to remember a time when it wasn’t there. I’m glad there’s more knowledge available now because I sure as heck didn’t think it was worth going to the doctor over, I thought I wasn’t *that* bad. At some point I realised I wasn’t in control anymore and going to the doctor that first time is extremely difficult.

    Anyway I’m sorry it came across the wrong way but for my post, it wasn’t just giving advice to depression sufferers (although the mention of dark clouds did make me think to do the post), it was meant to be a boost for all of us. Bad dates, stress at work, the things we find negative. It was about finding a balance.

    Little reminders that we’re not alone and pointing out ways of looking at things differently could help others. Obviously not in your case so I’m sorry this hasn’t sat well with you sunshine xo

    Liked by 2 people

    • Oh no! I wasn’t directing this solely at you — I actually enjoyed your post a lot, because you’re definitely right, a lot of the times turning bad into good can help. I’ve just seen A LOT of posts lately about “how to beat depression” and there really is no one specific way TO beat depression, that’s all.

      Like

  4. There are no easy solution to mental illness period. It is why treatment is almost always ongoing. It is why some end up doing the med dance until something works. That being said. I’d rather read posts listing treatment options than someone telling me to just suck it up. Or to just get over it. I think it especially important for those who with depression to see that there is a way out. Do you have to shit rainbows? No. But positivity on some level helps combat depression. While negativity feeds it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I completely understand what you’re saying, which is partly why I thanked those people for at least giving options instead of, like you said, telling us to just suck it up. I just got a bit frazzled because I’ve seen SO many posts that, instead of saying “Here’s what I’ve tried, MAYBE it will work for you, too” were saying “Do this now and it WILL make you better.”

      Liked by 1 person

      • I think that is more of a societal issue. There is a increase in lack of tact. While we mean well we no longer have the skill how to say it in a non-bossy manner. It is a negative side effect of the “Tell it like is” movement. While yes it is important to express yourself but we stopped having regard for others.

        Liked by 1 person

  5. Good post. That was the hardest thing for me to realize as a spouse is that there is no “fix” for my wife’s bi-polar disorder or depression. It just is. Good days and bad days. Just have to learn to manage as best you can.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you=]

      Yes, I told someone else I don’t think it will ever “go away” for me — even if I “go into remission” it will still be there, somewhere. I have to live my life standing guard all the time to recognize symptoms and triggers.

      Liked by 1 person

    • Definitely — and I love the posts that say “Here’s what I did to help with my depression, maybe it will help you, too” it’s when people come out and say “This worked for me so it WILL work for you” when it gets to me.

      Like

  6. Hey beautiful – I’m not sure if you read my last post about having a setback. I wrote about my setback in general terms, although I really wanted to go into detail, I couldn’t. I listed self-help stuff that has made me feel a little better in regard to this latest plunge. I wasn’t trying to shove my ideas down others’ throats….well, not much. Chocolate was one suggestion! ;)

    Anyway, after reading this post I got a little paranoid that my post might have been annoying! I totally understand where you’re coming from here; you’re addressing the difference nuances of depression so eloquently, and you’re taking the pressure off of us so that we don’t feel like we’re not trying hard enough and/or doing other things wrong when it comes to feeling better & functioning.

    Apart from that, I’m sending you lots of love & I will catch up on your latest posts soon!
    Thinking of you today!!!!!! XOXOXOX

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh no, yours wasn’t annoying! I love all your posts=]

      I’ve just read SO many posts lately that say “This is how YOU can get rid of depression” instead of “This is how I got rid of depression” (like yours did) that it started to drive me a little nuts. Like, some were almost putting people down saying “Well I beat it this way, so you can too if you’d only get off your ass and try.” THOSE are the posts I’m talking about, love=]

      Thank you! You, too=]

      Liked by 1 person

      • That’s what I thought…but I’m suck a fucking insecure idiot sometimes!!!! I hate it when people are didactic (ooh! Isn’t that a good word? “in the manner of a teacher, particularly so as to treat someone in a patronizing way.”) I loathe know-it-alls!!!

        I feel all better about that now! ;)

        And about the reaction of The Letter – I’m seriously thinking heavy-duty thoughts for you today although I’m not sure when you’ll hear about it. In any event, I want it to go way, way better than you expect.

        So here are yet more ***big hugs**** from me!!! Remember your loyal fans are totally rooting for you, and you have many. Draw from that energy. xoxoxoo

        Liked by 1 person

        • You’re no idiot! Your posts are great=]

          I didn’t hear back from Nate about The Letter yet. I think he got it on Wednesday, so tomorrow is the earliest I should be receiving another one from him. That’s IF he didn’t need a few days to cool off before writing his. I know he’s not calling me, though, because he had his mom remind me to sign up for classes instead of doing it himself=[. Whatever will be, will be, though. We have 12+ years to work on us and figure everything out, and I believe that we will, so long as we’re honest from here on out.

          Thank you so much!

          Liked by 1 person

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