Mini-Post Mondays: Book, School, Other Stuff, Jack

mini post

Book

So, I seem to have lost my motivation and inspiration. My book’s been stuck at around 38,000 words for about a week or so. I’m thinking about going back in and editing / adding, or maybe just taking a break until inspiration hits again. I’m really not sure. (*Please note that names in the book may not match names on the blog. I’m going to try to change them before I post pages here, but I might forget so I apologize for any confusion. It should be easy enough to figure out who’s who.)

School

I got my financial aid in order (yay for being crazy otherwise my appeal wouldn’t have been approved) and signed up for classes the other day. I am officially a college student again, after taking a semester off for personal reasons, and I’m excited to start (tomorrow!). I am not fond of my schedule, however. If I get even more quiet around here for a while it’s because I’m busy with homework and settling in to my new routine.

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Other stuff

I’ve felt . . . lost lately. I want to write but nothing comes, I want to clean but sit in bed, I want to sit in bed but pace around the house. Currently I’m binge-watching Weeds just because. I’m afraid this is that numb feeling people often speak about when they get on meds, because it’s been long enough for them to take their full effect and I don’t necessarily dislike it but I also don’t exactly like it. I’m just stuck in this middle place that isn’t bad but isn’t good, and it worries me because I don’t want to float through life like this. This is another reason I’ve been so quiet lately; nothing has been happening to write about, nothing is inspiring me, nothing is even setting me off like it usually does. I have nothing to joke about, nothing to rant about, nothing to tell you. I’m amazed Nate and I actually had a good conversation this morning because usually I have nothing to say. I’m surprised I’ve even typed this much. And now I’m done. I really hope I get more excited to do anything once school starts (tomorrow!).

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Jack

Jack and I haven’t been well. I think it’s because we’re no longer sleeping together, because Nate and I decided to nix the whole me sleeping with other people thing. Anyway, my therapist thinks he’s no good for me and doesn’t know why he’s still here. I say it’s so he can help me with Holden, but honestly I don’t even know why he’s still here. I guess it’s just because he has nowhere else to go and I don’t want to put him out like that. But we haven’t really been getting along and things just seem bad. He complains, I complain, he gets mean, I get mean. I think we really need some time apart because we’ve been living together for 6-7 years and have just gotten sick of the other.

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And that’s about all. What’s going on with y’all? You’ve been surprisingly quiet lately.

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26 thoughts on “Mini-Post Mondays: Book, School, Other Stuff, Jack

    • I’ve noticed you’re posting / liking / etc. more, yay! But the rest of the blogosphere has been eerily quiet — even the number of likes I usually get on posts has decreased by like half.

      Thank you! I hope I stick to it this time. Third try’s a charm, right?

      Like

        • That’s true, I don’t do it for the likes, but it is nice to know my work reaches many people.

          I think the holidays were rough for a bunch of people — I’ve noticed some still haven’t come back since their “vacations”.

          Like

          • Yeah, I just kind of quit doing everything. It’s a pattern.
            Has there been a drop in readership too? Maybe you should drop something in that “community pool” thread, let ’em know you’re still here.

            Liked by 1 person

          • Yeah, a little. Whereas I used to get between 100-200 views a day, now I’m only getting between 50-100 a day. Some days are more, but usually they stay around there.

            The community pool never seems to work for me. Maybe I don’t get in there soon enough, but I’ve done it a few times and never noticed any new followers / likes / comments or a jump in views or anything. The things that DO work are when I join the Blogging U. courses.

            Liked by 1 person

          • I signed up for that, but then couldn’t access the commons and said screw it.
            A wise (or crazed, same difference maybe) woman once told me, “something–something–blah–blah–SHAMELESS SELF-PROMOTION!” :)

            Liked by 1 person

          • Haha yes, I have been slacking on the shameless self promotion lately. I just don’t have the motivation lately. I’ll be back on it soon, hopefully.

            Writing101 was how I got Freshly Pressed. You should try it again sometime.

            Liked by 1 person

  1. It’s good that you’re being aware of how the meds may be reacting in your system, but try not to let it scare you just yet. It might just be that you’ve put forth a lot in your memoir and your mind (and body) need some down time to catch up. People can get burnt out normally. Continue being aware of it. And, if it continues then address it or take a day to just MAKE yourself write. Hey – you wrote this! It might just be that dredging up past things has tired your brain! Keep at it and good luck!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Welcome to the mid winter blues. Winter can bring out the apathy in all of us. I’m trusting going back to school is going jump start a lot of stuff for ya. As for Jack – I kinda feel bad about the situation. He’s certainly been helpful with the child rearing. Here’s to an exciting tomorrow!!! Wishing you the best!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m hoping it’s just winter. It’s been on and off like this for a while. I also could have burned myself out — I wrote a lot in a short period of time when I wasn’t feeling this way.

      Going back to school should definitely get me back en route to something, at least. We’ll just have to wait and see what that something is.

      Jack and I have tried, and tried, and tried. It just does not work out between us, even as friends who live together. Honestly I think the best thing would be for him to move out and take the boy a few days a week, but sadly it seems that won’t be able to happen for a while.

      Thank you=]

      Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you! First class went well — found out my favorite professor is pregnant with twins and will only be there for half the semester.

      I’m hoping I just burned myself out by writing a LOT in a short amount of time.

      And thank you again! =]

      Like

    • Thanks=] I know it is, but I can’t shake this feeling. My therapist and I talked about it probably being my meds and she recommended I take them at night instead of in the morning to hopefully get rid of the blahs. We’ll see if it works.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve been binge watching on Weeds too. I’m at the end of season 4 right now.. I’ve seen all of it anyway, but I was loaded a lot of the time when I binged on it before and I have a different perspective and different struggles now so it resonates in whole new ways.

    I’ve found it to be soothing background as I write or rest or sort laundry. The dysfunction of Nancy’s relationships make me feel better about my own and watching Celia’s parenting skills make me feel like Mother of the Year!

    Speaking of which, how is Holden and his medical stuff.. How are you?

    Liked by 1 person

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