Y’all are Now Officially Insane

I forgot to post this yesterday. So anyway, every month I go through the search terms that lead people to this blog, and every month it gets a bit crazier. This month ya’ll have really outdone yourselves.

inspector search

alcoholicalcoholicsalkoholics I really wonder how many search pages you have to go through to get to my blog. But anyway, alcoholics aren’t cool.

nephila trollnephilia infidelity blog comments You’ve come to the right place, my friend.

nonsenseshenanigans That’s me!

females kicking males ballsreals girls kicking men in ballsgirls who live to kick ballswomen who kick men in balls I wrote one post about a shirt, dammit!

sucking boy Get out of here, please.

damn he’s such a good kisser statuses I don’t know what to say to this.

how to handle a parent’s pity party I don’t know how to handle them, but I can point them out for you.

i had a few episodes where i said something unsesical, does that make me insane Yes, yes it does. Mainly because unsesical isn’t a word.

i cant hide who i really am Then don’t.

i had an affair and feel like shit Well, it’s not for everyone.

7 reasons why santa isn’t real / santa isn’t real I really think I’m ruining childhoods over here.

cunt bucket huge holed luscious labia This one’s my favorite, because WHAT THE HELL?

parenting a child that isnt your own Here you go.

you have been practising how to suck dick Have you? Well, get on it then! But wait, how have you been practicing?

kids parents are assholes They are, indeed.

birthday bucket list stupid I have a whole slew of stupid bucket lists.

confession i had sex with my stepdad Well, that’s kind of gross I guess. I didn’t go that far.

cconfession.my mom is fucked by my friend I’m sorry?

dating friends exes If it’s okay with them, go for it.

well then Indeed!

buspirone divorce I don’t know why you’re here. I’m on buspirone but I’m not divorced.

can’t tell what bit is the stuck tampon / tampon inside didn’t know straining pushed out What? I think you people need to go to some class that teaches about tampons and vaginas.

shenanigans clothing For the trillionth time, I’m sorry. Stop coming here.

chokers that signify marriage I don’t know anything about this, but it sounds interesting.

why cant i find my hole in my vigina Seriously, take come classes people.

pics of passionate lesbian banana use Sigh, only sluts eat bananas.

nipples challenge Yes!

no expectations no promises I don’t know why you’re here, either.

giving my infant a taste of alcohol off my finger That’s quite alright.

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Crazy Level: Nailed It

Happy December, y’all! Now that it’s a new month, you know what that means! We get to see just how crazy you’ve been over the past month, and I must say, you no longer disappoint. Here are the search terms that led you crazies to Nonsense & Shenanigans over the past month:

inspector search

alcoholics (4) / alcoholics photos I don’t really know what to say to this, but how many pages did you have to go through to find this site searching for such a common word? P.s. Alcoholics aren’t cool.

pity party (2) Parents have them, a lot.

women who like to kick balls (2) / kick ur bolls on tshirt / girls kickes boys balls imges / girls kick balls / girl kick balls image blog / girls kick balls blog / girls balls kick I wrote one post about a shirt and feminism!

villagers thrashing auto drivers (2) / rape a woman in ap / 2 auto drivers tried to rape I did write a good post about some asshole who commented on this, but again, why are you people being directed to my page?

gardenar sex (2) / sex wiht your gardener / gardener sex / sex with gardener story And again, ONE post about sex BLOGGING with MR. Gardener. But it’s really good — you should check it out.

does it mean anything that i can push a tampon out -poop -bowel (2) Why did two people search this? And why did they both come to my site? And have you ever heard of GIVING BIRTH? If you can push a BABY out of your vagina, I don’t think a tampon is too much to worry about, unless it’s in your ass. (Though it’s probably not in far enough.)

i got lucky to see What?! I’m so curious right now.

and shenanigans Nonsense.

http://www.empoweringwomannow.com Why not just go straight to the site?

sonic pees Hahaha, I don’t even remember which post I used the photo in, but that you searched this and found me is hilarious.

sonic on toilet

Photo Credit: shadowrobotnik / deviantART (CC BY 3.0)

ass hole of small girl child.. GET OUT OF HERE, NOW.

status on tagging me in nonsense photos Like on Facebook? Because that’s totally annoying.

bipolar parenting Now that I can help with.

feet made for walking Mine were.

hot sluts with bananas / sluts bananas The whole point of the post was to stop sexualizing bananas.

if my toddler wont poop in the potty does that mean he is not ready for potty training / potty training power struggle Dude, I don’t know shit about potty training.

why do middle aged women dye their hair blonde Usually to keep it the same color it was when they were younger.

ashole parents ashole kids asshole speller.

nephila infidelity blog comments Always. Welcome, newcomers. I hope you can stand her.

no strings attached 2014 Movie? Can’t help you with that. I wrote a post about how it’s possible, though.

nonsense & shenanigans YES. At least I hope you were looking for me.

crazy health nonsense Haha, ask my mom.

giving girls makeup feminism I don’t know where this is going. But makeup sucks.

about feminism Here you go.

shenanigans clothing STOP COMING HERE.

stories of a mom and son cuddling on the couch naked under a blanket Um…

tired toddler Here you go.

mentality of a bipolar addict I have it, it’s kind of fucked up.

one sentence two prisoners You were probably looking for the original article with a different title, but I wrote a good one, too.

stay at home mom blogger I am one of those, yes, but not a “Mommy blogger”.

rockstar shenanigans Psh, I am TOTALLY that.

bustygirlcomics Again, go to the site.

third gender private parts This again?

cartoon guessi world6 I don’t know what this means.

how many kids calls there parents assholes I’m guessing all of them.

are escorts hookers Yes. But stay tuned tomorrow for a post more about that on TMU.

the other woman Oh I have loads to say about that.

“bree paige” Why did you end up here, and not here?

holiday stress humor I don’t think I have any of that. But Holiday stress, that I got.

So, there you go, folks. Crazy enough for you? Because it is for me. But keep ’em coming for next month!

Gettin’ Crazier

You have all seriously come through since my first search terms post. Seriously. I don’t even know what else to say. So just, check them out:

inspector search

секс This is another language, right? And like, a different alphabet? Because that’s not how the usual font looks. I have no idea what to make of this.

naked bath time boys (2) Um, this is not a good way to start things. Please don’t come here again.

why do i seek attention from man after ive been raped (2) This is probably something you should work through in therapy.

sucking boy (2) What the hell is going on here?! Why are these people getting directed to my blog?

why alcoholics drink from guilt Because it’s a vicious cycle. 

nonsense word lists Falafel, Sassafras, Shishkabob, Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.

gender identity nonsense It’s not nonsense, whatsoever.

nonsense shenanigans Could this really be for me?! I’m so flattered.

onewhomakesupnonsenseexcuses Jack had a field day with this one.

making nonsense in someones life And this one.

affair coach’s wife Well, the post you probably were referred to is this one, but I don’t think I can help you.

is there such thibg as fwb Okay, I had to look up “fwb” because somehow search engines know what it means but I don’t, but yes, there is.

help needed I am so sorry. But you might want to narrow your search a bit.

confess my unfair sleepwalking Oh, how I wish this was searched by a specific someone.

i like pumken Um, you like what? Because I like pumpkin.

alcoholics Are not cool.

kids today 2014 This is what’s wrong with them.

why is pumpkin basic It’s not!

private parts children Seriously, I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you weren’t searching for child porn and wanted something like this instead, but I really don’t like the pattern of these search terms.

nipple challenge YES! Someone finally understands.

awesome alone posts I don’t even know what to say to this one. I have awesome alone posts?

i hit my son That’s okay.

mycervix Is a doughnut?

silly bucket list Here you go.

sex stories with gardener Again, I really want you to be searching for this guest post from this wonderful man, but I doubt it.

had a string come off tampon should i notify company Um, sure?

confession Submit yours.

relationships no strings attached told friends about me So?

no strings attached relationships Are possible.

shenanigans clothing For the third time, I’m sorry. I have nothing to do with clothing.

real girls Are any girls.

how can i stop my vargina from making nonsense noise This one is absolutely my favorite and I have no idea how you ended up here. But, maybe your vargina is supposed to be making those noises? Then again, I don’t know what a vargina is. (Although spell check doesn’t say it’s incorrect.)

i want to feel better So do I. I hope you find out how to.

how to be a cool alcoholics THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A COOL ALCOHOLIC.

“shitting on yourself” Oh dear. For a second I completely forgot that I had a post titled something like that. I can only imagine what’s going on in your life, but I’m sorry I probably can’t help you. And why the quotes? This isn’t another sexual thing, is it?

antiparenting blog Oh god is that what I’ve become? Actually, I’d be okay with that. But I can’t take all the credit — my post was completely and totally inspired by The Mighty Buick.

not real girl on back without shirt What? Is this another porn search? WHY ARE YOU PEOPLE COMING HERE?

annesley rozairo I don’t know who this is and I’m feeling too lazy to use the Google.

sam dylan finch, an activist with bipolar disorder I have never once written about this person (I don’t think), but yay!

eeyore should have been on zoloft Well, personally I doubt Zoloft would have worked for him but yes, he was absolutely depressed or something. Hence my Eeyore Syndrome.

sex blog Oh my god, I am not a sex blog! (Not that there’s anything wrong with them, I actually quite enjoy them.) But I do have a guest post about sex blogging.

is santa claus real or fake the truth Oh crap I totally just ruined it for someone. Shit. But really who Googles that?!

the world change and so the women no longer care about private parts Um.. huh?

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You No Longer Let Me Down

So remember that time I complained that you guys weren’t searching enough crazy shit to get to this blog? Well, you have more than come through over the past month. Let’s get started immediately.

inspector search

robin williams find your Weird how similar this is to my post. Makes me really hope you were looking for it specifically.

shenanigans borderline personality You’ve come to the right place, young grasshopper.

third gender private parts I have no idea why you ended up here . . . I guess because of this, but this will probably help you better than my post.

Luke’s shlong Bwuahahaha, this one is ultimately my favorite ever. It’s probably impossible to beat. And better yet, someone looked this up on dictionary.com! What on Earth could they have been searching for? Certainly not a dream about banana-like penises.

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You Let Me Down

So you know how a lot of bloggers make posts about the searches that lead people to their blogs? Well I’ve been hoping to do that. Only none of mine are freakin’ exciting.

Instead, I’ve decided to let you all know how upset I am that you’re not searching cool things, and instead search shit like:

nonsenseshenanigans (6) Well, duh. I hope you were looking for me at least.

shenanigans clothing
(2) Sorry you got directed here. I have no clothing. Rarely wear it.

i hit my child
(2) I like to think that my post helped you, but I doubt it.

tempest rose
(2) I want you to be searching for me, but you’re probably searching for her.

how to find a 4 leaf clover
 That post isn’t up yet — stick around. I can tell you how to find 3-leaf clovers.

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