Why Nonsense & Shenanigans?

There is a lot of blogging advice out there. Comment, like, post so often, don’t use foul language, do use foul language, don’t alienate your followers, don’t use certain post openings, have a niche.

Have a niche. Huh. For those who don’t know what a niche is, it’s kind of like your forte. If you don’t know what either mean, you should probably open a dictionary, but since I’m kind I’ll explain it.

Your blog’s niche is something specific you write about. Your focus.

niche blogging

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This is Why I Turn Off My Ringer

As I sit in bed doing research for my next post, the phone rings. It’s almost 7pm so I think it might be my son’s father. I would jump up and run to the phone, but I know from experience that I won’t have enough time to answer it before the answering machine. Instead, I take my time and then sit next to my wall-mounted, corded land-line in the kitchen.

Photo Credit: Kornelia und Hartmut Häfele / Wikipedia (CC BY-SA 3.0) This is actually way cooler than my phone.

Photo Credit: Kornelia und Hartmut Häfele / Wikipedia (CC BY-SA 3.0)
This is actually way cooler than my phone.

I wait for a few minutes and my son runs up to me and asks to speak to Daddy. I tell him if Daddy calls, of course he can talk to him. But the phone doesn’t ring again, so we both hang our heads and Holden pulls me by the shirt into the living room.

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My Anti-Parenting Guide

I recently read The Anti Parenting Guide to Raising an Inappropriate Child over on A Buick in the Land of Lexus. I think it’s my new favorite blog at the moment — it’s like there’s another lady parent out there who just gets me.

Before I get too mushy I’ll get to the point: the post was hilarious and I loved it and needed to respond, so I started typing up a comment, point by point.

Around number 3 I realized I would be CRAZY to leave such an obnoxiously long comment, so I decided to make my own post! You really need to read The Anti Parenting Guide to understand where this nonsense is coming from, so please go over and show The Mighty Buick some love. (And yeah, I’m pretty sure her name is Samara, because of her blog’s web address and all, but we’re not really on a first name basis [yet] so I’m sticking to calling her The Mighty Buick.)

(I even linked to it twice for you, so you should have no trouble finding it. Go on now, I’ll wait.)

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Five Horrible Thoughts Good Bloggers Don’t Have (But I Do)

Photo Credit: Stephanie Booth / Flickr (CC BYB-NC-SA 2.0) Cat blogging pictures are adorable and, along with GIFS, are a recurring theme throughout this post). Plus, I believe they have the same love/hate relationship with the blogging world as I do and, you know, everything else).

Photo Credit: Stephanie Booth / Flickr
(CC BYB-NC-SA 2.0) (Cropped)
I like to think that blogger-cats share my love/hate relationship with blogging (and everything else).

These are not the average insecure blogger thoughts. Oh, I have those as well, but this list wouldn’t be “horrible” if it were just about pitying myself (which, seriously, what the hell? I’ve never been insecure until I entered the blogging world. So thanks a lot, WordPress). No no, this list is about all the ways in which I project my self-doubts onto others. (Or maybe, I really am just a horrendous person?)

We’ve all read the advice about “do what you love,” “blog for yourself,” “don’t worry about stats,” blah-blah-blah. I mean, it’s good advice, but I’m not perfect (and I doubt you are, either). I care about this stuff. I’m also pretty cynical. (Or maybe, shallow?)

We all have those moments. Well, I have those moments. Many of them. So here are some thoughts I like to convince myself every other blogger has on an almost-daily basis. I apologize in advance for being so cruel. (Or maybe, I don’t?)

(Go to Page 2 for Thought #1)

DOVE® Chocolate is Mocking Me

You know how whenever you crack open a fortune cookie or skip over the real news to the horoscope section, that fortune or ‘scope just knows you?

How, for example, even if you’ve never truly done a creative thing in your entire life, if it says “Let your creativity flow today,” you gasp thinking about how, just five minutes ago, you remembered that hand-turkey art project from third grade you never finished, that’s still lying around your mother’s attic? Obviously this psychic piece of paper must be guiding you to go back and complete it, because you just know it would be amazing if you did. (It won’t, don’t do it.)

Well, I experienced something similar with DOVE® Chocolate’s inspirational messages. And by similar I mean the exact opposite.

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